The Chipotle Challenge

Welcome to the 2015 edition of the Banker Games! Greetings from Dallas, you are looking great as always. I’ve missed you.

Before we begin, happy belated Star Wars Day (and God Bless America)!


Some things haven’t changed since we last spoke. I still get little-to-no respect at work

Illustrations are the work of the talented Tim Light

Illustrations are the work of the talented Tim Light

and I am still a meathead, albeit with a little less hair (not talking about a haircut—think recession).

But some things have changed. I actually ran a complete mile the other day! Sure, it was a beer mile, but it counts. (Note: for the unfamiliar, that consists of drinking a beer every 400 meters)

Did you really think I had retired the dinosaur suit??

Did you really think I had retired the dinosaur suit??

Anyway, my training is going very well. I had a pretty severe groin pull back in January (playing pickup basketball against some high schoolers lol), but I am back to 100%. I have been training at a Crossfit gym (shout out to Crossfit Deep), which has been great. Below are some of my recent highlights:

My training philosophy as the Decathlon approaches this year is to be comfortable, being uncomfortable. To prove it, I ate a full-size Chipotle burrito as fast as possible. In the spirit of charity betting, I want you to guess how long it took me to suffer through this. Here are the contents of the burrito in all their delicious glory (ps – they look at you funny when you ask to take a picture of your open-faced burrito).


I went with chicken, white rice, black beans, mild and medium salsas, and sour cream (for viscosity reasons). Now that you have made your estimate, enjoy. [DISCLAIMER: only do this if you want to be uncomfortable for the next few hours. It hurts. And please have a spotter]:

So here’s the deal. If my 2:00 performance exceeded your expectations, you have to donate to the cause. Don’t lie to yourself, you know, unless you are comfortable with having on your conscience that you lied instead of donating money to children with pediatric cancer. Your call.

You should also donate because I spared you from hearing the mastication (I spell checked that seven times) noises in the raw (not the best adjective) footage. And because the link is right here!

Thanks as always for reading, and for your continued support. May the Fourth be with you, and Happy Cinco de Mayo.



One thought on “The Chipotle Challenge

  1. I fully support the dino suit, the burrito challenge, your skillz at Crossfit, and being heckled at work.

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